Britain's Jolly Good Day
by Sir5er
Summary: It's Britain's birthday and he's feeling particularly down today. But when America calls him and invites the Allies out for some pints, what will happen?


Britain sighed as he sat down. This was a particular depressing day. He couldn't help but think of the awful things he's done in the past.

_The fire was huge. However, the girl tied at the stake was unafraid. Britain laughed as France cried. "France totally had to have a girl fight for him!" Britain pointed at Jeanne D'Arc and France and laughed._

The laugh echoed in his head. Britain gripped his hair and started to sweat. He pulled at his collar, loosening his tie and wiped his forehead. He sobbed quietly. "What 'have I done?"

His thoughts were interrupted as the phone rang. He cleared his throat and answered it. "Hello?"

"HEY! DUDE! BRITAIN! WHATCHA DOING?" asked a particular, certain loudmouthed and obnoxious offspring.

"Hello, America. What do you want now? I'm particularly busy today. Call back tomorrow. Make an appointment and perhaps the psychiatrist will 'help you tomorrow."

"Don't think I don't know what today is!"

"April 23, St. George's feast day, why?"

"DUDE! How could you forget?!"

Britain was getting a little impatient. "I don't care what today is! I told you, I'm busy. Leave a message!"

"But, Britain!" America whined. "It's your birthday, Man!"

Britain was left in silence. His anger faded from his face and he smiled weakly. "Oh, that's today…I almost forgot…"

"How could you forget the best day of the year, Man?!" asked a surprised America.

"I appreciate the flattery, but it won't get you anywhere, Child!" Britain replied.

"Dude, you doing anything? Cuz I'd thought we'd, ya know, hang out and stuff! My treat!"

"With your economy…" Britain mumbled.

"What was that?"

"I said, 'what a comedy'! Let's go see that new play in town!"

"Nah, I'd thought we'd hang out with the guys around town!"

"Oh, for Mother Hubboard!" Britain massaged his forehead with his left hand. "Fine. But tell France I don't want any 'presents' from him!"

Hetalia

"Back, beast!" Britain thrust forward, holding his sword and parrying. He imagined he was St. George, fighting the dragon and saving the princess. "It was nothing," he filed his left hand nails on his chest.

Then he snapped back to reality. He glanced at his watch. "By, George! I'll be late!" He put up his sword and grabbed his coat, running out the door.

Hetalia

"Dude, it's about time you decide to show up!" America held out his watch and tapped it. Britain crossed the street and jogged to catch up to them.

"Sorry, Blokes. I 'had a last minute…thing to take care of…"

"Zhat's ok, Britain!" France put his arm around Britain's shoulders, but Britain shook him off.

"Don't touch me," Britain warned. "You bloody bloomin' frog…"

"Tsk tsk," France shook his head. "We won't get anywhere with zhat attitude of your's."

"I like my attitude just fine, thank you very much."

"Zhat won't do!" France then took Britain by the waist and led him inside the pub. Britain held out and waved his hands in protest, but France made him sit him down at the counter bar.

America sighed. "I can't wait until I'm 21…"

Suddenly, a familiar accent came from behind them. "You are in UK, da?"

The threesome looked back to see Russia and China standing there.

"Hey, yeah, you're so right, Dude!" America smiled wide. "What they don't know, won't hurt them!"

Russia smiled as he took a seat. France sat on Britain's left, while America sat on his right. Next to France sat Russia and next to Russia sat China. It was definitely a scene to see all these foreign men together in one place.

France whistled as he tapped Britain's right shoulder and quickly pulled his hand back. Britain, falling for it, shouted at America, "What is it?!"

America looked at him in surprise. "I didn't do anything!"

Britain mumbled and returned to his drink. France and Russia chuckled and snickered.

America's attention was drawn to a sign next to a stage set-up. He pointed. "No way, Dude! Karaoke?! TONIGHT?!"

"No," Britain began, but France interrupted.

"Zhat's fun! We should all sing!"

"We be too drunk to sing right!" China glanced at them, leaning towards the counter.

"Who cares?" asked America. "We'll blow them away!"

"I am thinking that didn't bothering Japan," Russia smiled at him.

"Yeah, Dude! Japan invents everything! It's kinda neat," America smiled.

"At least, ze zings zhat don't say, 'made in China', hohohoho," France laughed.

The others burst out laughing, and China sat back, sulking.

"We are kidding, da?" Russia gave him a firm slap on the back, in friendship.

"Hmph!" China crossed his arms. "I no do it!"

"Whatever," Britain mumbled. "Do as you please. I won't have any part in it!"

"Dude," America pulled out his iPhone. "Kodak moment!"

France, Russia, and China leaned closer together and America snapped the picture. France winked while Russia just smiled, as usual, and China gave a peace sign. "Awesome! Posting and tagging!"

Britain mumbled more as he held the pint of ale in his hands. It seemed he was needing today to get drunk, anyway. He ordered a pint special and the manager came to set it up.

"You drank all the pints!" the manager sang. "You drank all the-you drank all the-no, you drank all the pints!"

Drunk-talia

The countries' performances were terrible, but everyone was too drunk to notice. They all applauded and cheered as each song ended.

"Your turn, Russia!" France was used to getting drunk, so he was immune to a hangover. He pulled Russia from his seat.

"I am thinking I am needing another vodka," Russia ordered another one.

"PFFFTTT!" France stuck out his tongue and made it vibrate with the sound. "You're no fun!" He turned to Britain. "You haven't gone!"

"And I don't plan to," Britain calmly stated, as clear as he could, but he slurred his words.

"Oh, come on, Britain!" America could barely walk a straight line. He plopped down in the booth. "Don't be a hater!"

"You can barely stand, bloody American!" Britain yelled, not realizing.

"I'm not drunk," America defended. "I'm trying to walk like Jack Sparrow!"

"Don't bring that up while I'm around!" Britain warned.

America let an obnoxious, not to mention loud and rude, burp escape his throat. "Bring it up again, and we'll vote on it! HAHAHAHAHA!"

The other countries laughed. "Get it?" asked America, over the commotion. "Vote on it?!"

Britain shook his head. What rude company he kept. "Okaaayy," Britain slurred. He stood up, using the back of the booth for support. "Party's over! Get out!"

The other countries stared at him. "But it's only 10," France whined.

"Out!" Britain pushed an imaginary door open, and yelled.

"For he's a jolly good fellow!" France tried.

"Out! Now!"

France, Russia (taking the vodka with him), and China scurried out, leaving America and Britain.

America's lower lip started to tremble. "Do you want me to leave, too?"

"…I haven't decided…"

America turned to leave, but Britain grabbed his sleeve. "Wait, America!"

America turned back, sadly.

"I…I'm sorry," Britain stared at the ground. "You can stay…just don't hurl on me…"

"HAHAHA HIC!" America hiccupped. "Sure thing, Dude!" his attention turned to the entrance. "Where's the bafroom in this joint?"

Britain pointed and America left to use it.

Britain, once again, let his mind drift to imagination.

"It's your birthday?" asked Tinker Bell.

"Congratulations!" said Captain Hook.

"It's nothing," Britain filed his nails on his shirt, again.

The waitress cleaning the table next to him stared.

"Just a jolly good day in the life of Sir Arthur Kirkland!" Britain smiled. "Take that, beast!" Britain suddenly stood up on the table and swung an imaginary sword around. He parried and jumped over the booth to the other table where the waitress was cleaning. She screamed.

Britain smiled and jumped down and scooped her up, bride-style into his arms, jumping back on another table. "Never fear, my lady! It is I, Sir George! I've come to slay the dragon!"

The waitress laughed and played along. "Oh, my fair knight! The dragon will eat me!"

"Not on my watch!" Britain knocked a table over and they hid behind it. "The shield of faith will protect us!"

The waitress giggled again and they stared into each other's eyes. Britain's smile faded and he leaned closer and closed his eyes. But just then, America came back in. Britain and the waitress cleared their throats and stood up. The waitress continued cleaning, taking the broom and sweeping up.

"What do you want?" asked Britain, still slurring his words.

"Do ya mind if I crash at your house, Dude?" asked America. "I don't feel so hot…"

Britain smiled wide and took America under his wing. "Sure, Bloke! I wouldn't want you to pass out on the bloomin' way! HA!"

They walked out, arm in arm on each other's shoulder, looking like they had drunk one too many.

"I think I'll stick with coke," America mumbled.


End file.
